Sometimes I wonder to myself how I have survived all these 21 years of my life. God loves me very much, my family too. I realised that throughout the 21 years of living, I have kept changing how I live my life. From being a baby, to a toddler, then grow up as a teenage girl and now, an adult. I am thankful to my beloved parents and siblings for bringing me up in a home that makes me feel warm and safe. However, in my teenage years, that's the time when everything started to change.
I started to socialise more, maybe that's normal since we're growing up. Then started to learn about being in love, being a normal teenager. But back then, I think I wasn't an ordinary girl. I was doing things beyond my league, putting troubles and left trails here and there. Made unneccesary yet false excuses to people. I felt so disgusted of myself back then.
When I started my A Levels, things were still shaking back then and unresolved. Not until last couple of years when I met the person who taught me to be a better person. All those teenage years with the black hole that I've kept inside me away from my family and friends, I actually opened up to that person. That someone made me realise that there's a better way of living. Not through lies, not through denials and not through hiding.
Up until today, I must admit that, I can be a hypocrite at times, I can be making excuses at times, I can criticise almost all the time. But I must say that, it's not easy being me. And I know for sure that it's not easy being someone who people wants you to be. I've always wanted happiness in my life, but I know it's hard too. It's not impossible to gain happiness, all that matters is that how we make other people happy. I think, in that way, it can make us happy.
One more thing, I realised that true friends are hard to find and keep. You'll know when a true friend comes by when he / she is there when you're in need. It's the thought that counts no? And sincerety. And ofcourse, my family is still my number 1 inspiration. :)
And the story ends here. :)
xaralee
I started to socialise more, maybe that's normal since we're growing up. Then started to learn about being in love, being a normal teenager. But back then, I think I wasn't an ordinary girl. I was doing things beyond my league, putting troubles and left trails here and there. Made unneccesary yet false excuses to people. I felt so disgusted of myself back then.
When I started my A Levels, things were still shaking back then and unresolved. Not until last couple of years when I met the person who taught me to be a better person. All those teenage years with the black hole that I've kept inside me away from my family and friends, I actually opened up to that person. That someone made me realise that there's a better way of living. Not through lies, not through denials and not through hiding.
Up until today, I must admit that, I can be a hypocrite at times, I can be making excuses at times, I can criticise almost all the time. But I must say that, it's not easy being me. And I know for sure that it's not easy being someone who people wants you to be. I've always wanted happiness in my life, but I know it's hard too. It's not impossible to gain happiness, all that matters is that how we make other people happy. I think, in that way, it can make us happy.
One more thing, I realised that true friends are hard to find and keep. You'll know when a true friend comes by when he / she is there when you're in need. It's the thought that counts no? And sincerety. And ofcourse, my family is still my number 1 inspiration. :)
And the story ends here. :)
xaralee
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